If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that dating is not always a picnic. It requires time, patience and enough mutual attraction to keep you interested and determine if it’s worth continuing. Then before you know it, BOOM, you’re smack dab in the middle of a serious relationship. The GentleManual knows how much she means to you, but we also want you to know how much you mean to her. Here’s a few ways to help you gauge her level of involvement, and if she’s really the one for you:

1. She’s Extremely Jealous

If she’s nagging you unnecessarily about where you’ve been and who you were “really” out with last night, this could actually be a sign that she’s up to no good herself. An unfaithful person knows if they can cheat, so can their partner, which can up the insecurity factor. On the contrary, if she’s never even the slightest bit jealous, it may make you question how much she really cares.

2. Her Dating Profile is Still Active

Even if you didn’t meet on an online dating site, a lot of people have active profiles on them if they’ve recently been single. It’s not her first instinct to rush and take her profile down after you’ve decided to really commit. But if her profile is being updated and still managed, she’s probably trying to keep her options open.

3. She Avoids Affection

With women becoming increasingly independent, often their guard is hard to put away at the end of the day. If she is tougher than you, expect a little bit of reluctance to be all mushy and touchy. But if she gets constantly annoyed at your affectionate attempts and doesn’t initiate communication, it’s very unnatural and clearly something is not right.

4. Her Parents Have No Idea Who You Are

This a sure fire way to tell she doesn’t expect you around long. It’s not going to be universal in every case, but if her relationship with her parents is at least on speaking terms, you should have had a verbal cameo by now. If she never mentions you, it’s that much easier for her to not explain why you two aren’t together anymore.

5. You Never Laugh Together

Women find humor one of the most attractive qualities about a man when dating. It keeps things interesting and there’s rarely a dull moment. You might actually find your significant others taste in humor to be quite ridiculous. But at some point you’re bound to share some laughs together.

6. Your Future as a Couple is Never Discussed

It’s not like you’ll be planning on kids and a home in the suburbs after just a few months, but planning together eventually becomes a priority in relationship. If you hear her making long-term plans that never include you, it’s probably safe to say there’s not going to be much of a future.

7. She Never Invites You to Her Functions

There’s a few ways to look at this. Maybe she doesn’t think you’ll want to go, or maybe she wants to make herself seem available to the crowd she’s hanging with. By bringing you as her guest for mixers, business functions, or an occasional night out with friends, she’s making a statement; she’s proud of you and wants to be seen with you.

8. Your Rarely See Her Place

If the relationship isn’t brand new and has been going well, you’ll probably start spending less time going out and more time staying in together. Her home is probably cleaner and more comfortable than yours. If it’s extremely rare that you see it, that should raise some concerns.

9. She Mentions How Attractive Other Guys Are

It’s not unusual for a girl to mention to her guy, “He’s hot.” Nine times out of ten, it’s about some celeb she saw on television or in a movie, and she’s probably just indirectly making a style suggestion. But if she’s saying how people she’s typically in direct contact with are getting her all hot and bothered, that’s definitely a red flag. Especially if the guys she’s mentioning are the polar opposite of you – her supposed dream guy!

10. She’s Constantly Picking Fights

Beyond being extremely annoying, a girl who’s always finding reasons to fight could actually be trying to tell you something more. She may not know it herself, but she may be looking for a way out of the relationship, and you don’t need that toxic, self-destructive behavior around you.