[Feature image by Christopher Hill]
Ready to become a more attractive man? Good.
Becoming more attractive is something that interests all of us. A favorable presentation provides general benefits, from how you’re perceived at an interview to even how you’re treated at the grocery checkout. And it never hurts to look more attractive to your wife, your girlfriend, or your crush.
Put all notions of vanity aside, because being attractive is more than just being handsome (though that’s also important). Looking and being attractive comes from within as much as it does from without.
We put together 11 specific, actionable steps to becoming more attractive:
The Importance of Hygiene
On the journey to becoming a more attractive man, we’d be remiss if we didn’t start here. Bad hygiene takes you out of the game before it even starts. Changes here can make a big difference.
If you aren’t dedicating time to your skin and oral care routines, you’ll never be as attractive as you should be. Imagine kissing someone with a greasy face and Frito breath. Disgusting right? (Sorry to put that image in your head). Yeah, those same standards apply to you.
Oral Care Routine
- Brush Teeth
- Brush Teeth
- Whitening Mouthwash with Flouride
Skin Care Routine
- Wash Face
- Apply Shaving Cream
- After Shave (No Alcohol)
- Eye, Dark Circle Remover
- Cleansing Face Wash
- Exfoliate (2x a week)
- Nighttime Anti-aging Face Serum
- Eye Cream
Essential Skin Products
Becoming a Well-Groomed Man
Of course, how you take care of your hair plays into your attractiveness. A well-groomed man will always have a leg up on his counterparts.
Learn to manage your mane and your scruff. What hair type do you have? Is it thin, thick, curly, straight, or wavy? Find the best products and cuts for your specific hair type.
Start and maintain a routine of washing and conditioning. This way, your hair will never be left dry or greasy. If you’re thinning up top, go read our guide on how to save your hair, and get things under control.
For my bearded friends, don’t forget to show your facial hair some love. Your beard needs washing and moisturizing just like the top of your head. Finish things off a couple of times a week with a trim and some beard oil.
Hair Care Routine
- Wash your hair every day or every other day (use a light shampoo that’s paraben free)
- Condition 2-3 times a week
- Biotin Supplement
- Nizoral 1-2 times a week (thinning hair)
- Minoxidil twice a day (thinning hair)
- Finasteride once a day (thinning hair)
Beard Care Routine
- Shampoo twice a week
- Condition twice a week
- Trim 1-2 times a week
- Beard oil every day or every other day
As for brands, the men’s grooming market is oversaturated. There are tons of grooming creams, oils, accessories, etc… That’s why we’ve included a list of some of our favorite men’s grooming products.
Essential Hair Products
Why Posture Matters
Your teachers and parents were secretly doing you a favor when they told you to stand up straight. Good posture is another immediate way to improve your attractiveness. Standing tall with your shoulders relaxed and your chest open portrays confident body language.
Even better, good posture improves your overall body functions so that you’re less likely to be sore or to get injured after a particularly hard set at the gym.
- Head up and slightly forward
- Shoulders back
- Chest open
- Back straight
- Shoulders back
- Knees bent at a right angle
- Feet flat on the floor
Improving your posture won’t happen overnight. Things like posture exercises such as pull-ups and push-ups can help though. If you’re serious about it, there are posture correctors on the market. They’ll strap onto your back and make a ping sound whenever you start to slouch. After a couple of days of that annoying sound, good posture will is ingrained in you.
We’re not going to claim that in order to be attractive, you need six-pack abs and be movie star shredded. However, being in shape is always a good thing.
Time spent at the gym or out running keeps you slim. As a general rule, when you’re athletically fit, you look better in your clothes and have more energy. There are no downsides to being all-around healthier.
You know that glow you get after exercising? Yeah, it’s good, people like that. Besides keeping you physically healthy, exercise releases stress and is a vital component in looking younger. As they say, “if you feel good, you look good.”
Our Men’s Workout Routine
- Weights 3-4 times a week (upper body 2-3 times, lower body 1-2 times)
- Run twice a week
- Rest 1-2 a week
Note: Keep in mind your body shape and maximize your workouts. Never workout beyond your capacity, and do find workout regimens that are within your skill level.
First and foremost, we are a style publication, so we understand the importance of looking good. Your style plays a big part in how others see you, but more importantly: how you see yourself.
Broadcast who you are as a person and exemplify your best features. Being mindful of how you dress shows self-appreciation and savvy. We have tons of articles on The GentleManual to help launch your journey of style discovery and exploration.
Men’s fashion can be daunting; we get that. If you’re looking to start immediately, here are your must-have men’s apparel pieces.
Men’s Style Must-Haves:
- 1 Bomber or Harrington jacket
- A white tee
- A black tee
- An olive or navy tee
- Two pairs of jeans (light and dark, i.e black and blue)
- A pair of chinos
- A leather jacket
- A blazer
- 1 Pair of sneakers
- 1 Pair of boots
The Power of Scent
Your scent can often speak for you. Hopefully, it says something sexy and confident, and not B.O related. Our sense of smell plays a huge role in human thoughts, memories, and emotions. So give people something pleasant.
Choosing a cologne takes a bit of work. Make sure to smell all the varieties and consider how they fit with the aura you’d like to give off.
Also, keep in mind that scents change over time and throughout the day, as they are affected by your body heat.
There are just as many expensive cologne brands as there are cheap ones. Price doesn’t necessarily guarantee a better product. That being said, the pricier bottles are likely made with better ingredients and have more nuanced scents.
There are countless cologne brands and styles, so things can get complicated. Scents fall into the categories of citrus, wood, marine, gourmand, oriental, floral, oud and sporty. Each one has its own qualities. So we’ve done the work for you.
Citrus: Fresh, lively, zesty
Wood: Pine, outdoorsy, confident, manly
Marine: Minimalist, clean, elegant
Gourmand: Vanilla, coffee, bold, sensual
Oriental: Spicy, tobacco, boozy
Floral: Light, perfumed, gentle
Oud: Strength, musk, maturity
Sporty: Herbal, loud, vibrant
Our Top Picks:
Note: Go easy on the cologne. People shouldn’t be able to smell you from a mile away. A small spritz on your neck, chest or wrist should be enough.
Being Attractive with Confidence
I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again that confidence is key. Well, that’s right. A confident man has control of one’s self and how he handles the world around him. Confidence isn’t the ability to never doubt yourself. It’s not cocky or loud.
What confidence is:
- Faith in your abilities
- Love and respect for yourself
- Understanding the role of failure
- Handling what the world throws at you
Confidence gives you the power to try things you otherwise wouldn’t. Maybe you want to rock a bold print shirt or finally approach your crush.
Instead of focusing on the things that you need to be better at, zone in on what you’re already good at. Give yourself love and recognition for excelling at those things. Not everyone has your same talents. Be proud of that fact.
It’s not easy to be confident all the time. Sometimes it’s important to fake it. If you act confident, soon enough you’ll find yourself and others starting to believe it.
Words are power, and a good conversationalist makes an attractive man. This skill seems deceptively easy, but it’s not. Think about the conversations you have every day. Are they mostly boring interactions with the dreadful hum of small talk? Every once in a while though, you meet someone whose words have a lasting impact. It’s largely because of their conversational skills. Their words made you think and feel things deeper than you do on an average basis. You felt heard, and you felt engaged. And you can have that effect on others as well.
I want to introduce you to the term “deep diving.” Deep diving is the ability to move past the surface level and go into the topics that a person values. It entails identifying something a person cares about and creating a space for that to be expressed.
It’s not about constantly asking questions. Instead, you are slowly delving into meaningful conversations.
People love to talk about themselves and deep diving does just that. More so, it has the added benefit of tying you to whatever strong emotions and realizations come up as someone speaks about their passions.
If you’re serious about being attractive, you must learn this skill.
Why you Must have a Sense of Adventure
There’s no substitute for a curious mind. If being adventurous seems only tangential to being more attractive, let me change your mind on that. “Being adventurous” may seem like a broad statement, but that’s because it has broad effects.
An adventurous man experiences life. He tries new things, visits new places, is open to learning, and he pushes himself. Repetition leads to stagnation. When trying to be more attractive, it’s crucial to understand that there is no end date. Your journey is never complete. Becoming more attractive, or improving in any way, is an ongoing process. Thus, a sense of adventure provides the juice to stay interesting.
Humor and Charm
Women love a sense of humor. Well, everyone loves a sense of humor. We’re not talking about mimicking the class clown. That guy sucks. We’re talking about utilizing humor and charm.
Humor comes from a healthy self-awareness. It’s the act of putting things into perspective and not sweating over the small stuff. With humor, you can disarm people and break down their walls so that deeper connections can form.
Charm depends on a couple simple factors: eye contact and connection.
Charming men understand the power of eye contact. Your eyes communicate just as much as your words. Always meet the gaze of who you’re talking to; this is actually a scientifically recognized approach to being more attractive. Learning when to soften your gaze and when to hold it will serve you particularly well in romantic endeavors.
If you’re shy or have social anxiety, this will probably be a hurdle for you. That’s okay, with practice, you’ll get this down in no time.
You really can’t skip this one. Eye contact is essential.
Compliments and Connection
The charming man is expert at connecting. Besides deep diving, one should understand compliments.
Praising your coworkers when their expertise deliver solutions is an example of when to compliment. Take note that there is a time and place for compliments. Over-doing praise can make it seem less genuine. Or it can have the adverse effect of putting people on a pedestal.
Work on your humor and charm, as they go a long way. Being attractive is more than just the physical. It’s just as important to be emotionally pleasant as it is to be physically pleasant.
Creating an Attractive Lifestyle
As they say, “it’s a lifestyle.” The way you live is perhaps the biggest contributor in your attraction level. Your daily habits influence your health and fitness as well as how you come across to others. Most importantly, your routine and personal views affect how you interact with the world, and how you see your place in it.
For instance, you won’t see yourself as a successful visionary if you’re on the couch watching sit-com reruns all day. Well maybe you can, but that’s called “delusion.”
Creating an attractive lifestyle comes from a few things.
Making and Maintaining Friendships
No man is an island. We all need to rely on friends from time to time. Way too often we allow ourselves to stay in our own bubble and create distance from most of the world. This prevents us from making new connections and lets old friendships disappear.
Attractive men have strong networks of friends. They make friends wherever they go and put in the effort to stay in touch. Your attractiveness gets by with a little help from your friends.
A solid support group gets you out of the house and aids in an active, exciting lifestyle. This signals to others that your time is precious and in demand.
You Own Your Responsibilities
Being successful is attractive. Success doesn’t mean making money; it means making progress in whatever you excel at. With that, others will see that you are trustworthy and in control of your own world.
Most people find life to be largely out of their control. More or less, it’s chaos for them. By showing the opposite, others will naturally want to gravitate toward you.
We all take life too seriously sometimes. A great lifestyle is balanced, and fun is an important balancing factor. People always think that attractive people have more fun because they’re attractive. In reality, they are more attractive because they are having fun with life.
Focus on the things you love. Give them attention and cultivate those hobbies. People want to be around others with a positive outlook.
These eleven tips will no doubt help elevate your quality of life and thereby make you more attractive. Understand: it’s a process, so don’t be too hard on yourself. How can others see how great you are if you don’t see it in yourself first?
Go out and try these tips for yourself. Tell us if you found these helpful. Are there any you would add?
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