Dating apps get a boatload of flack for being superficial, but the truth is that most singles are on at least one to a few apps. In fact, 23% of people in the U.S. have met long-term romantic partners online.
Apps are a great way to meet someone you may have never bumped into. When you’re flooded with hundreds of images of faces, though, it’s hard for anyone to stand out. Your dating apps experiences become a blur of sun hats, puppy filters, and stock-image-worthy scenery.
That’s why you need to have incredible conversation game to spark chemistry with someone you’ve yet to meet. Check out these chat starters that will transform the way you use dating apps:
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Ask a “Would you rather…” question
A “would you rather” question is a fun way to start a conversation on dating apps. And you’ll get to know how her mind works.
Steer clear of unpleasant extremes though. No one wants to be ambushed with choosing between lost limbs and burning houses.
If her dating app profile says she likes to cook, you could ask, “Would you rather have Gordon Ramsay as your personal chef, or would you rather be be a better chef than Gordon Ramsay?”
Ask for a recommendation
Ask her to recommend a new Netflix series, a good book, a cool bar or coffee shop. People love plugging their favorite venues and artists, and you’ll learn about her choices in entertainment. If her favorite restaurant is Hooters, you might consider it a red flag (or hey, maybe not).
It also wouldn’t hurt if you discovered something you like for yourself through sourcing recs.
Ask what she’s looking for on dating apps
Inquiring what she’s looking for on dating apps is perfectly fine. You’re both capable of being mature about your expectations. However, avoid flat statements like “I don’t want anything serious.” She might not either, but declaring it outright kills the mood.
Instead, state you’re seeking something casual in your profile. You can also say that your schedule won’t allow for a serious relationship. Even short flings need a softer touch to get them going.
Compliment a physical feature
Everyone enjoys a compliment, and stating your attraction ignites instant chemistry. Just make sure it’s suitable.
Let her know you like her eyes, her smile, her dress, even her lips. Definitely don’t tell her you admire her breasts or backside, unless you want to end up as a featured screenshot on her social media rant.
When observing a physical trait, a good adjective is “cute.” There’s nothing wrong with “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” or “sexy,” but “cute” teases the line between friendly and flirty.
Share something interesting that you’ve recently learned. Did you know that the King of Hearts is the only King without a mustache? Bet you didn’t, but we made you check.
When she shares your entertaining tidbit with others, she’ll think of that cool, fun guy she chatted with on that dating app. There’s something about knowledge and humor that exude confidence.
Talk about your goals
Talk about your goals, both short and long-term. And your goals don’t have to be about work. Maybe you’re training for a marathon, or you started brewing your own beer. Maybe you’re nourishing your creativity by designing novelty socks. It’s sexy to pursue different passions and new hobbies.
While relationships are great, don’t forget to focus on self-development. Becoming a strong individual makes you more attractive.
Ask about something in her dating app profile
Asking about her dating app profile shows right off the bat you’re taking time to figure her out. You could ask the backstory to one of her photos or why she’s chosen to share a certain fact about herself.
Her profile is her thought-out first impression, which she spent hours crafting to perfection–okay, maybe that’s just you.
Nevertheless, show enthusiasm for her personality, and don’t be afraid to vet her interests gently against your own.
“Going to Whole Foods. Need me to pick you up anything?”
A witty one-liner from a TV show or song can be charming on dating apps. Just make sure it’s relevant enough that she can be in on the joke.
If she knows the reference, you may have swiped right on your soulmate. And if she’s unfamiliar with the quote… well, at least you’ve shown your sense of humor, right?
Ask her out
If you’d rather get to know each other in person, you can ask her out directly. Maybe you thrive offline. But be aware, not everyone is game for spontaneous meetups with strangers. We’ve all seen too many sketch craigslist postings.
Cover your general bases: name, where you live, what you do. Then make it seem that you’ll happen to be in her area around a certain time. Suggest a public place, maybe even one of these great outdoor date ideas.
With dating apps, you’ll need extra zest in your conversations since you can’t rely on eye contact and body language. Be funny, focus on her interests, and show her something new.
Follow these tips, and she’ll be dying to meet you in person. If you’re still figuring out which dating apps are right for you, check out our breakdown on the various apps for online dating.
What are some of your dating app chat wins and catastrophes? Let us know below