Pt. 2 – Married or Co-habitation
COVID-19 has shaken us up in ways we never knew imaginable. So many of us went from being gainfully employed and financially stable, or maybe even having the best years of our lives to unemployed with a fear of losing our homes as well as a panic of getting sick and possibly dying. The fear of not being able to pay your mortgage/rent or put food on the table can really put a strain on a relationship. On top of that, we are all “stuck” in the house together with nowhere to go. It doesn’t take a psychologist to know that money and health issues can put a huge strain on a relationship. Usually, if we were getting frustrated maybe we would take a drive, or go out with a friend to be talked down, but what are we doing now? We need to stay positively connected, and what better way to do this than date night. What are you currently doing to ease that stress? Here are a few suggestions.
Cook a meal together
Think about the ingredients you have in your house and come up with a creative meal or dessert you have never made before and prepare it together. I recommend picking one person to be the chef and the other the sous chef. Cooking together is fun but can also be frustrating if not done right. With my husband and me, one of us has to be the head chef and we switch off depending on the meal we are preparing.
Keep the kids on a schedule
If you have children, be sure to keep them on a schedule so they are still going to bed early and even send the teenagers to their rooms for quiet time so you have those few hours in the evening to focus on each other. This is so important! This is not the time to do laundry or clean the floors. Dedicate this time to you and your significate other! This is your time to reconnect!
Dust off the checkers or backgammon board, open a bottle of wine and set out some snacks. A competitive game can make for a fun, playful evening, taking your mind off of everything else.
The gyms are closed so what are you doing to keep fit? How about if you come up with a workout routine you and your significant other can do together. Find a Pilates or Yoga class, hang a punching bag in the garage, or take a walk around your neighborhood. This is a great way to stay connected and fit!
Netflix and Chill
After dinner, or after the kids go to bed (if you have them) pick a movie you will both enjoy. You know, one of those action movies with a great love story? Pop some popcorn, put on your jammies and your matching socks, share a blanket, and settle in on the couch. Be sure you are touching! Hold hands or snuggle up close. This is a great way to connect and feel a connection. This is especially good if it was a rough day! Maybe you don’t want to talk but just be near each other.
Communicate your feelings
At least once a week check in with each other on how you are holding up. Talk about how he/she/you are feeling. Talk about the stresses and frustrations as well as the funny thing that happened that day. Keep communication open so pressure doesn’t build up. Remember, you are in this together! It is ok to be frustrated and stressed out and it is much healthier to talk about it than hold it in. This will help your relationship now and in the long run!
Making sure we find time for each other during these crazy times will not only make the lockdown more enjoyable but will make your relationship stronger in the long run. Be sure you make time to remind yourselves why you got together in the first place and enjoy each other!